View from an Unchessable Parent Q&A 5 — the highs, the lows, and the challenge

When your child dives into a hobby completely different from yours, it's like opening a window in an otherwise stagnant life. Suddenly, you're thrust into a whole new world of knowledge, a vibrant social circle, and even a different approach to learning. These experiences broaden your horizons and enrich your understanding of life in ways you never imagined.


Life is an adventure. Despite the different paths we take, we all end up in the same place eventually, much like a fly that darts away from a window but finds itself circling back to where it began. Striving to make that circle bigger, and experiencing more along the way, that's what makes life worthwhile.


Over the past two years, as Kobe delved deeper into chess, we've met fascinating people within the chess community and received incredible support. Those tiny chess pieces have become a huge amazing medium for us to connect, revealing the selfless and caring side of humanity. It has also increased our sense of integration and belonging in the Australian community.


Through chess events, we've visited many new places, such as Melbourne and Adelaide. Soon, we'll also be heading to Canberra to participate in the largest chess event in Australia: the Doeberl Cup.


Personally, I love to travel. While virtual tours offer glimpses of distant places, nothing beats being there in person, soaking in the sights, sounds and smells firsthand. For me, accompanying Kobe to chess tournaments while exploring new destinations is the perfect way to meet both our interests.


Moreover, chess isn't just a game; it's a mental workout with countless benefits.
In today's world of short attention spans and instant gratification, chess stands out as a game that fosters deep concentration and critical thinking. It's a mental challenge that can't be matched, teaching kids to focus and strategise for hours on end. And the lessons learned from wins and losses build resilience and a growth mindset that's invaluable in life.


But, like any competitive sport, chess has its dark side.


Parents have been known to hurl insults or even resort to physical violence over disputes about game outcomes. Some families entrenched in the chess tradition display arrogance and rudeness towards newcomers, failing to acknowledge the diversity of interests beyond the game. It's important to remember that losing in chess doesn't define one's worth; individuals may excel in other areas.


Additionally, certain organisers prioritise performance over sportsmanship, ignoring inappropriate behaviour from skilled players. This raises the question of whether implementing penalties like yellow and red cards could deter misconduct. While most children playing chess here may not become world champions, it's crucial to recognise that life extends beyond the game. Don't get trapped in the chessboard without remembering your humanity.


And then there's the issue of gender disparity in chess. Female players are often overlooked or objectified, judged more for their appearance than their skills. It's a culture that needs to change if we want chess to be truly inclusive and respectful. This has nothing to do with how well females play chess. Just say would a male novice player receive more attention regarding what they are wearing, whether they are cute (It's not that she can't be called cute; what I mean is, she didn't come to play chess just to look cute), or whether their facial expressions are appropriate?


The challenge: as Kobe's passion for chess grows, so do the pressures.


She's naturally competitive, but sometimes that drive to win can overshadow the joy of playing. I've watched her accept draws too early just to maintain her record, missing out on valuable learning opportunities. It's a delicate balance, encouraging her to do her best without getting caught up in the outcome.


So, this year, I've encouraged her to focus on the journey, not just the destination. Win or lose, as long as she's giving it her all, there's no reason for regret. My hope is that she rediscovers the joy of playing, no matter what the scoreboard says.


This is the journey of chess that I, a parent who doesn't know how to play chess, can currently share with you. Considering that we are about to set off for Canberra to participate in the Doeberl Cup, I may continue to share this major chess event with everyone. Stay tuned.


#ChessParenting
#ParentingTips
#ChessEnthusiasts
#ChildDevelopment
#FamilyActivities
#EmotionalSupport
#LearningChess
#ParentingJourney
#ChessSkills
#PositiveFeedback
#CompetitiveParenting
#ChildEmpowerment
#ChessCoaching
#HealthyCompetition
#LifeSkillsThroughChess
#chesskid
#chesscom

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